I was preparing to cook rice for dinner today and I found out we just ran out of it. Panic came creeping in as I desperately searched our kitchen cabinets for those tiny white grains I need to cook for dinner. “Pilipino nga ako” I thought [not that I have any doubts about my being a Filipino].

Culture forms you. Wherever you go, you carry culture with you or culture carries you around. It is at this point that I started missing my Pilipinas.

Our culture defines us. You’d know a Filipino when you see one and it won’t be because of how one person looks or how one person speaks. You can have the perfect western accent, dye your hair blonde, wear colored contact lenses and you would still have that Filipino air within you that will give you away. Frankly, I don’t understand why some people want to be less of a Filipino and more of members of a race they don’t even know much about. This is beside my point. Sorry.  So going back to me missing Pilipinas.

What I miss about the Philippines

1. Today I missed Pilipinas more because we ran out of rice and there isn’t any sari-sari store around the corner where I can buy even just half a kilo of rice from. Surely, there isn’t any other place like Pilipinas. What, with all the sari-sari stores and the things you can buy from them? It sure beats the hell out of going to a mall packed with week-end shoppers doing their grocery shopping. No need to worry about parking spaces and long lines at the counter! You buy what you need and voila! Sometimes you even get candy for change.
2. Driving is boring without the musical sounds coming from cars. Oh wait, right! That’s them drivers blowing their horns.   Where I am now, blowing your horn can cause angry stares from the cars next to you, like you’re some lunatic out to create havoc on the streets.
3. Sidewalk vendors. I used to get really pissed with sidewalk vendors as they occupy the entire sidewalk and there’s not much space for walking anymore. Now, I realized they are the ones who bring life on the streets. Imagine Quiapo without its vendors. Yes, it would be cleaner but the place would also be… dead. Where will you get that emergency nicotine fix while waiting for your Jeepney ride or that mint you wanted to chew on before picking up your girlfriend? Sometimes, these vendors are your guiding light when you’re lost in the city. GPS? Nah, alam ni manong na nagtitinda ng yosi ang daan [the street vendor selling cigarettes knows the way].
4. Taho, fish balls, kwek-kwek and calamares. You will never find these street foods anywhere but in the Philippines. Of course, you can get a pack of fish balls and make your own calamares but there is nothing that tastes like these Pinoy street foods. Sometimes I wonder why these munchies taste better when they are cooked in the streets than when cooked at home. My boyfriend used to tell me it’s because of the sauce they use and it probably is. I never knew how they make those sauce. I never saw any one of my family members make a sauce like that.  Tahooooooo! I miss the sound of the man selling Taho in the morning. I miss going out to our front yard with my “just woke up, haven’t brushed my teeth yet” look and getting my early morning dose of Taho. I miss manong magtataho asking if I want an extra scoop of syrup or if I want sago with my taho.
5. Sili, toyo, suka at patis [chili pepper, soy sauce, vinegar and fish sauce]. Filipinos like to flavor their foods. Meal time wouldn’t be complete without any of these on the table: toyo, sili, patis, or suka. I miss how I eat fish with lots of sili and toyo or Nilagang baka with patis.

When I was younger, I read an essay entitled “Where’s the Patis?”. This essay was written by Carmen Guerrero Nakpil. I searched online for a copy of that essay because it reflects exactly how I feel.

A bit of reminder for those Filipinos trying to be less of a Filipino:

A Filipino may denationalize himself but not his stomach. He may travel over the seven seas… and lose the savor of home… and believe himself a citizen of the world. But he remains- gastronomically, at least always a Filipino.

- Where’s the Patis, Carmen G. Nakpil

Pilipinas, I will see you soon.

Worth Reading:

Where’s the Patis by Carmen Guerrero Nakpil